Nastasha and the Beast
by Sanzolicious
Summary: Hi, Clover here, and I suggest you write responsible, unlike me. This story is entirely champagne induced and makes no sense. enjoy!


Nastasha Zabigopf walked down a country dirt path into a very French looking town; she'd been quite unwillingly dressed in a blue dress and a white apron. As she past by, the villagers all said bonjour and talked about how strange she was. However, Nastasha had been exposed to this scene many times as a child when her parents would force her to watch American Disney movies. Now, that nut-job author had forced her to be in that scene. She shrugged, knowing the sooner she did what she was supposed to, the sooner she could go home and get back into her comfy military uniform. After Nastasha had gotten out of the bookshop, Domon jumped down from a roof dressed up as Gaston.  
"Hello Belle.want to..er." Domon paused to look at the script Chibodee had sent him via e-mail. "Come back to the tavern and look at my animal heads?"  
"No thank you Gaston, You can drop dead and be eaten by rabid Kodiak bears for all I care." Nastasha said, walking off.  
"Wait a minute! That's not what your script says!" Domon yelled hysterically, not really wanting to be eaten by Kodiak bears.  
"Oh, how stupid of me" Nastasha sneered sarcastically, "What I meant to say is Gimme back my book and let me leave, I'm supposed to help my father."  
"Wait a minute! It says here that Master Asia is Maurice? That's too weird!" Domon said  
"That nut job needs more help than just you, belle." Sai Saici said, arriving late, wearing a bad black wig and fake pig snout.  
Domon started pretending to laugh like it said in his script and he finally got his incentive for behaving like a moron, he got to hit Sai Saici upside the head. Sai continued laughing and so did Domon. Nastasha made a very inappropriate gesture involving a certain finger, which would certainly not be allowed in a Disney movie, and walked off.  
At the house, Master Asia was pretending to actually be doing something, and Ulube and Wong were setting off fireworks to make it look like he was messing up at inventing something.  
"Hi..daddy..I think you're a great inventor and you're gonna be famous." Nastasha said, dully reading her lines.  
" Wow, don't sound so enthusiastic .. 'Belle'" Master Asia rolled his eyes and pretended to be excited. "Oh, wow, Belle! I think I have gotten it right! I am going to go into the woods, get lost, be chased by wolves, and annoy Argo.er..the Beast. till he locks me in a cell!"  
"That sounds like fun, daddy, I will now obliviously begin to read my book until 'Gaston' comes back and asks me to marry him again, at which point I will turn him down, sing an annoying ditty, search for you, and beg 'The Beast' to lock me up instead of you" Nastasha answered.  
And the two unenthusiastic actors did just that.  
Afterwards...  
"....You can stay in this room.oh, and.you will also eat dinner with me, though I can't guarantee that you won't be the main course." Argo said  
"You're a jerk and you're really ugly, so I don't wanna join you for dinner!" Nastasha glared.  
"Do you really think that, dear?" Argo looked hurt.  
"Awww, no Argo, it's just what the script says, I just think your eyebrows could use a good wax."  
"D'you know a good place for that?"  
Chibodee, who was dressed in a pink, purple, white, and gold teapot costume sighed.  
"I think it's hopeless" Chibodee groaned.  
" As do I, monsieur Chibodee" George, who was dressed as a candlestick, responded.  
Eventually.  
Nastasha had requested to skip straight to the end so she wouldn't have to wear anymore frilly humiliating costumes, George, Argo, and Chibodee, who were sick of their uncomfortable costumes agreed, Domon was offstage with Rain (You REALLY don't wanna know) and Master had quit.  
Finally, Argo and Nastasha were pretending to dance, since they both had two left feet and would crush each other's toes if they continued.  
"Finally! I get to sing!" Chibodee grinned  
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Argo and Nastasha yelled at the same time.  
"TAAAAAALE AAAAASSS OOOOLLLLDDDD ASSSSSS TTTTTIIIIIIIIMMMMEEEE SOOOOONG ASSSSS OOOOOLD ASSSS RHYYYYYYME, AAAAAARRRRRRRRGOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAAND NAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Chibodee taunted.  
Argo, Nastasha and Chibodee started a brawl, George tried to stop the brawl but ended up in it, Domon and Rain were dragged into it, as was Allenby, Master came in to try and break it up, but soon started to join it too, Sai Saici joined in. Soon the whole cast and some random walk- ons(including Clover, Roan, Ruki, and Leonardo from GGNG) were brawling.  
"And so the show was ruined and we decided never to cast Nastasha as a lead ever again." Clover Crocket said as she escaped the brawl. "The moral of the story? My daddy cannot sing well, and it's not smart to taunt large angry Russians. Thank you for reading, please review." Clover bowed and walked off stage as the curtain fell. 


End file.
